Ponies: BetaMale
╰Denizens
!!! Snowflake Warning !!!
This article contains comedic tall tales at the expense of others, and or real chungus! Buckle up buttercup this article is one buckcrustable! :scream:
This article has the express consent of its subject regarding the contents published that concern them in this article
BetaMale is the mayor of
Steedville
, a town on the
ModernBeta Minecraft Server
, who rather unfortunately suffers a
socially crippling affection for a certain pony
from the popular
Hasbro
—a corporate entity in eventuality manifested (of insistence) subsequent to the advent of and as a consequence therefrom the industrial revolution—
elaborate toys promotional material
that is purported to be merely a television show.
Love Life
The interesting thing about wiki articles is that nopony gives a buck to read an article if it is too gabble, such as idly detailing
SNCA
,
so I have made the executive decision to postpone every other section to put the best part immediately after the opening summary, which is this section on BetaMale's love life. As mentioned in the summary,
BetaMale is quite an unfortunate individual, and many constituents and denizens of Steedville tell of his steadily encroaching, manic train of thought as it threatens his own self as he is bound via rope to his own rails: an ever nearing state of neuroticism and headless persistence, which I believe hereby to be some degree of
schizoaffective disorder
,
effectively opting him out of the gene pool as he is not mentally sound enough to "quaintly" court a mate.
<Marefriend>
What is
suprising is that BetaMale, despite being so volatile, has a
marefriend
,
and her in game name is TinyMarble, but him
succeeding in wooing a mare
makes fairer sense once one understands that BetaMale's rampant mental state of steadfast decline has him as
inconsolable at most times, thus the only real way to regulate his mind without drugs
—
the kind which are dubiously dubbed "psychotropics"
—
is through somepony with connection leverage: a pony whom
he deems worthy of utmost confidence- a pony whom also does not mind
pampering or wrangling
a
"stallionfoal"
.
This is the real reason for why TinyMarble is BetaMale's marefriend, and for no other reason, at least in
my mind
,
as managing this despondent despot is quite troublesome, but TinyMarble likely shall claim along any such similar lines of inquiry that
she also maintains the faux romance out of pity, which
fits the diagnosis of
stockholm syndrome
despite differing terms. The sacrifice TinyMarble makes to maintain BetaMale as a
pony shaped, leadership oriented and intelligent flesh automaton
is well known
amongst all denizens, and TinyMarble recieves, in lieu of this,
much due compensation in way of free meal or assistance with tasks that she herself would otherwise do in the time which she would possess if it were not for
her aforementioned sacrifice of time
.
<Disconcerting Obsession>
Drawing back to the summary, I mentioned offhoof how he is socially crippled because of his
unbridled (no pun intended)
affection for a "certain pony". Well, the "certain pony" in question is the pony
Derpy Hooves
,
and the reason why this is worth mentioning is obviously in the aspect that it "cripples" his ability to lead a normal, functional life, and this was caused by him attempting to manifest
Derpy as his "tulpa" via following guides off the /x/ and /mlp/ boards on 4chan. Now, to delve into the topic of "tulpas" is beyond the scope of this section, let alone the subject of this article, but know this: BetaMale, in claiming he is a "tulpamancer", is an inadvertent, in an unabashed fashion, proclamation to the world that he himself is schizophrenic.